Strive to be Perfect
by CrazyTenor42
Summary: Jedi might be more controlled in their emotions than other sentient beings, but they certainty weren't perfect. Even the stoic Obi-Wan Kenobi had his fears and insecurities. He would do anything for Anakin and to be the man Anakin deserves. It only takes one light-hearted comment from Anakin about Obi-Wan's weight to start him on a dangerous cycle of insecurity and starvation.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Heights and weights were all taken from their SW wiki pages and then converted to feet/pounds. This story is based on anonymous questions to the RP tumblrs: "h-e-l-l-o-t-h-e-r-e" and "anakinwalkerofskies". I suggest you check out their tumblrs! Or I can send you links to the questions/answers that inspired this story!

* * *

Going to Dexter's seemed to become a daily event for them on those increasingly rare moments that they were at the Temple. It wasn't that the food was necessarily good – grease was the most prominent ingredient in all the dishes – it was the atmosphere. Eating at the Temple was exhausting. The food was top quality of course, and much healthier than Dex's cooking (although after a long mission of only eating from protein cubes or questionable native cuisine, even Dexter's Diner tasted gourmet). The real trouble was the environment. Fellow Masters would come up to them, wanting to discuss Anakin and Obi-Wan's recent mission, or go over the latest news and tactics for the war. Even worse than that were Padawans, who openly gaped and whispered when they saw "The Team." It seemed that Anakin and Obi-Wan were not only celebrities outside of the Temple but inside as well. It was just stressful. The pair wanted to eat, to escape the war for a few short hours, not be continually bombarded with thoughts of the war.

Dex's was their little piece of heaven. The people eating in that diner either didn't notice Anakin or Obi-Wan, or could care less they were Jedi. Dexter knew, obviously, but the only special treatment they received was free food. Dexter had waived aside their objections to that long ago, saying it was always a pleasure to have Jedi in his restaurant. Anakin and Obi-Wan had given up long ago and merely promised that they were always at Dexter's service should he need them. The diner might have been shady and rundown and the food less than perfect, but it was a place to relax. They could talk freely among the chatter of all the other patrons or amuse themselves in listening to others conversations. Here seemed like the only place left on Courscant untouched by the war. It wasn't much, but it was nothing to scoff at.

Unfortunately, their days at Dexter's seemed to becoming fewer and fewer. The number of Jedi were dwindling as the demand for their help increased. This was the first week Anakin and Obi-Wan had off in eight months. Which, aside from meaning a week worth of meals at Dexter's, also meant they were overdue for their six month physicals. They had started to become mandatory once the Clone War had started and the stress of war had started to show. Older Jedi, forced out of retirement and into battle were facing stress fractures of bones. Even the stress had started to cause increased blood pressure, insomnia, swelling of joints, and torn muscles and ligaments.

* * *

Obi-Wan,true to his normal self, refused to go to the Healer's Wing. The only times he went were when he was too weak to protest. And the physicals were just unneeded. He knew he was getting older; his joints and bones complained horribly in the mornings after a long battle. There was nothing the Healer's could do to help old age.

"Obi-Wan, I'm not covering for you again. You're worse than a Padawan."

"I am in perfect health, there's no need to repeat the same process every six months."

Anakin reached out and pressed his palm gently against the small of his back. Obi-Wan winced.

"Perfect health, huh?"

"Merely a bruise."

Anakin raised his eyebrow. Obi-Wan knew what that look meant. Anakin knew where every bruise and cut was on his body and he would use each and everyone to prove his point. Obi-Wan sighed.

"Yes, fine. But there is nothing they can do for a few scrapes. I've gone through much worse."

Anakin smiled and leaned down slightly to press a kiss on the top of Obi-Wan's head. "I know. But if it was me, you would have marched me in there by now. It's my turn to be the demanding one. Besides I promise, I'll make it up to you afterwards." He lowered his voice to a dramatic whisper, "Don't tell Master Windu, but I stole some of his best wine."

"Anakin! He's going to catch you eventually!"

Anakin shrugged, "Well, if you hurry up and get to the Healers Wing, it will be gone by the time he finds out and we'll be too drunk to care what he thinks."

Obi-Wan had to admit that going to his physical might have been worth it just to see Vokara Che's shocked expression.

"Master Kenobi, what a surprise to see you here of your own free will."

Anakin snorted and Obi-Wan gave him a swift kick.

Master Che sighed. "Both of you take off your boots and tunics."

Anakin and Obi-Wan both started to undress. Vokara Che had originally insisted that the two of them respect each other's privacy, but then found that both Anakin and Obi-Wan denied that anything was wrong with them. Anakin was more than willing to tell her what happened to Obi-Wan and vice versa. They worried more about each other than themselves and seeing as they had by far the closest and most intimate relationship of all the Jedi Teams, there was no complaint Vokara Che could really make. Although Skywalker did test her limits sometime though. Particularly when he decided it was an appropriate time to be whistling appreciatively as Kenobi stripped off his tunic.

"Skywalker, for Force's sake you are not a teenager!"

She turned towards Kenobi, who was bright red. "Kenobi, if you cannot control your Padawan…."

"He is no longer my Padawan I am sorry to say."

"You are only sorry because the idea of a Master – Padawan relationship turns you – "

"Skywalker! Get on the scale!" He was pushed rather roughly.

"Okay, okay!"

Vokara Che pulled out his file. "6'2…you've lost weight. You're one-eighty five. Still in your ideal range." She pulled him off the scale again and then ran the normal scans. "Eyesight and hearing are fine. You have a few cuts on your back that are healing incorrectly, they could be getting infected." She went to her cabinet and pulled out a small tube of ointment and then threw it to Obi-Wan. "I expect that you will see he uses this."

"I am the responsible one."

"The Council seems to think so. I must say, I disagree." She replaced Anakin's file with Obi-Wan's. Your turn."

Obi-Wan reluctantly stepped up on the scale.

"5'7…you appear to have gained the weight Skywalker lost. One-seventy three."

"Getting pudgy, old man," Anakin grinned, "I need to stop taking you to Dexter's."

Obi-Wan glared at him.

"It isn't a significant increase, but it is over your recommended healthy weight range."

Vokara Che finished the rest of his physical, his eyesight and hearing were fine. His bruises and cuts should be healed in the next few days and unfortunately, like always, the soreness of his joints and limbs were nothing curable. Obi-Wan wasn't really listening. He was busy brooding over Anakin's comment. He knew he was old – at least older than Anakin – that was nothing that could be helped. But his weight? That was something completely under his control. He and Anakin ate the same foods and both were always physically active. Obi-Wan was actually more active because of all the times he spent running to save Anakin, or trying to save himself from another situation in which he had been delegated the role of being bait.

Anakin hadn't given any indication that he was upset by Obi-Wan's weight gain. His tunics still fit…he clearly hadn't gained a massive amount. He hadn't even noticed that he was a few pounds bigger. Anakin couldn't possible have noticed. Or maybe he just didn't say anything…it was just part of the increasing list of Obi-Wan's flaws. And why not? It was part of growing older. Anakin was stuck in a relationship with an older man, these things were inevitable. The soreness of his joints were just the first step, followed by the excess weight. Soon it would be the gray hair and the wrinkles. Anakin was going to be stuck with an ancient, wrinkled old man. It would be really unfair for Anakin to be stuck with an obese old man as well. Something would have to be done.


	2. Chapter 2

Obi-Wan Kenobi had an extremely strong willpower. As a Jedi, he had been raised since he was a child to be able to abstain from most pleasurable things: even most missions required the willpower not to break under torture, to endure extreme cold and heat without complaint. But dieting? That was something that was seriously worse than anything else Obi-Wan had endured.

He had promised himself that he would cut his calorie count by half while doubling his exercise regime. That meant obsessively recording and tracking every meal and every drink. By his calculations, with the extra calories he burned, with less calories being consumed, he could lose about two pounds this week. He had also requested that he be separated from Anakin on his next mission. It would be a pleasant surprise for Anakin to return to the Temple after a few months and see his newly slimmed-down boyfriend. Anakin had given Obi-Wan so much. Here was a remarkable man, attractive, intelligent, and filled with potential. He would be able to find dozens of equally remarkable men and women to share his life with. But instead he had pledged his entire life to Obi-Wan. Anakin was the best thing to ever happen in Obi-Wan's life. He owed Anakin more than he could possibly give him. At least this would be a start. He might not be able to make himself younger, but he could make sure that he at least stayed slim. If making Anakin happy was giving up food for a few months, then so be it.

That was if he could keep to this diet. Obi-Wan loved food. As a Padawan, he and Garen and Reeft would sneak down to kitchens after mealtimes to get the leftover food. There was just something about food that seemed to symbolize the luxury and richness that wasn't part of the Jedi's life. The complexity of food, the bold, sweet, or spicy taste…it was an pleasurable experience. And food always seemed to be attached to good memories. Even now, he and Anakin would often curl up together on their couch and put in some horrible holonet movie with a tray of various junk foods. Loved ones and food just seemed to go hand in hand in Obi-Wan's life.

Not to mention Anakin kept making things more difficult. Trying to abstain from excess food was close to impossible as it was never mind having Anakin tempting him constantly. Obi-Wan was almost looking forward to going on his next mission. He hated to leave Anakin, but Anakin was a magnet for weight gain. He ordered large portions of almost everything at Dexter's and then encouraged Obi-Wan to try them. Obi-Wan had been doing his best this week to order what Dex passed off for a salad. He vowed he was only going to eat salad, no eating from Anakin's plate and certainly no snacks during the night.

"Are you sick?"

"We just went to the Healer's Anakin. So no."

"You've never refused to try of Dex's new items before."

Obi-Wan looked down at the plate in front of him. It did smell extremely good, but how many calories were in it?

"Oh, alright." A bite or so couldn't hurt, could it? He had spent all morning performing katas after all.

His entire week passed in the same way. He promised himself to only eat a little, which turned into a full meal. It seemed he couldn't do anything in halves. He promised himself he would only eat half a portion of everything, but after working out for most of the day, he found himself ravenous and unable to control his hunger. He really wished Anakin would stop offering him food. Every day he would come back from an extensive workout and take a shower only to have his efforts circumvented. Anakin would be lying on their bed or on the couch, some sort of sweet on a nearby table. He wanted to make Anakin happy and to do that, he had to accept the food. Besides, who could say no to a gorgeous man and chocolate cake?

If only Anakin understood. He and Obi-Wan both loved food, but Obi-Wan no longer had the metabolism of a twenty year old. Anakin might enjoy the moments he had now, cuddling with Obi-Wan while they ate, but in a couple of years, when the results of these night time snacks took hold and swelled Obi-Wan up several sizes bigger, Anakin wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed.

* * *

It was a shame this was their last night together before they were split up. Anakin had not taken the news well. Obi-Wan was careful in how he worded it. He couldn't lie to Anakin – not without Anakin sensing it immediately – but he also wasn't fool enough to admit he had asked for the separation. Anakin would see it as something he had done to push Obi-Wan away.

"These missions will not take too long, Anakin. We will be back together in a few months."

"They've never split us up before now! We work better as a team. We are the Team!"

"I agree. But we get can more accomplished by splitting up."

"So you agree with their decision?"

Obi-Wan thought carefully about his response. "I think that we can successfully prove we are just as effective on our own as we are together. There are only so many Jedi, Anakin. We can take care of two problems quicker by going our separate ways.

Anakin still didn't look happy. "If you get into trouble, you will alert me."

"Don't I always?" The look Anakin gave him answered that question in an instant. "Very well, I will bother you if I find myself in trouble. But I can take care of myself you know."

"Sure. Jabiim and the adventure you had with Bail was a great example."

"Anakin…"

"You know what? Just forget it. I picked up some cheesecake today from Dexter. We can celebrate our last night." Anakin left to get the cheesecake and Obi-Wan winced. _Just one more day, _he reminded himself, _then back to your diet._

* * *

Obi-Wan lightly brushed a strand of Anakin's hair away from his face. Anakin stirred, but didn't wake. Obi-Wan admired his boyfriend's form. Anakin's body was perfect. Tall and sculpted, there wasn't an ounce of extra fat on his body. He was muscular and toned without having bulging veins in his muscles. He was the perfect balance. Obi-Wan could only imagined how he looked in Anakin's eyes. Obi-Wan was never particularly ashamed of his body. He was never quite as built as Anakin, but he had maintain a nice physique. He supposed that compared to Anakin though, he paled in comparison. He was surprised Anakin was still sleeping in the same bed with him. _"Getting pudgy, old man." _That was what Anakin thought about him. Just a flabby old man. His diet regime was clearly not working. He was going to have to step it up. It wasn't working, trying to limit his food intake. As soon as he was tempted by the smell or a small taste of something, he lost total control. Even exercising made things worse, because the longer and harder he worked, the hungrier and hungrier he got. Something had to change.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This chapter will seem like it skipped the entire period of what happened to Obi-Wan, but I promise, I will go back to it. I wanted it from Anakin's POV and Obi-Wan's, so I'm going to have Obi-Wan talk about it next chapter.

* * *

Obi-Wan stumbled into their quarters and Anakin thought for a moment he was having nightmares of Jabiim again, but with much less blood. Obi-Wan looked exhausted – although after a nearly seven month mission who wouldn't be? He was also frighteningly thin. The deprived, tortured look that ate away at someone, pulling the skin tighter and tighter on the body, highlight the jutting edges of all the bones. His tunic was hanging off of him and he looked absolutely deathly.

"Anakin! When did you get back?"

"When did…two nights ago. Force, Obi-Wan, what happened to you?"

"Nothing a good night's sleep couldn't cure." Obi-Wan wasn't sure about the look Anakin was giving him. Was it appreciation? Maybe he didn't look any different, just extremely tired. He really did feel exhausted. He had missed Anakin.

Anakin carefully wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan, pulling him into a hug. He winced as he felt Obi-Wan's ribs pressing into his chest. Obi-Wan let out a little muffled cry and Anakin jumped backwards.

"Not so hard, Anakin. I'm not going anywhere."

Anakin's eyes darkened and his fear increased a hundredfold. "I'm taking you to the Healer's. I hardly touched you, Obi-Wan….something is wrong and you know it. What happened on your mission?"

"Nothing, Anakin, please, I will go tomorrow morning. Just let me rest tonight."

Anakin reluctantly agreed and followed Obi-Wan into bed. Obi-Wan lay back against Anakin, resting his head on his chest. It was such a relief to be back together and hopefully Anakin liked his new look, even if he still had some work to go. Anakin loosely wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan and was asleep in a few minutes. Sometime later, it could have been one hour or ten for all Anakin knew, the Force surged with a warning. Anakin woke up immediately and looked around for the source of the warning, trying not to dislodge Obi-Wan.

Then he realized the Force has alerting him to Obi-Wan. He was no longer sleeping, but had fallen unconscious; his skin was icy and his breathing was irregular and shallow. Anakin picked him up and ran to the Healer's. Vokara Che and her team coaxed Anakin to letting go of Obi-Wan, and once he had, they pushed Anakin into a spare bed, giving him a light sedative and then rushed to start diagnosing and treating Obi-Wan.

* * *

Anakin woke up and Vokara Che was standing over him. "He should have been brought straight to us! What happened to him?"

"I don't know. He said nothing was wrong, but something happened on that mission!" Anakin sat up and looked around. "Wait, did you drug me? Or were Obi-Wan and I drinking again?"

"Your drinking habits are another matter entirely, one that I don't want to hear about. He wasn't drinking and neither were you, surprisingly enough."

"Look, he promised he would have gone, he just wanted to sleep first."

"Well, he should have been brought straight here."

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know, but it didn't involve the mission. This is something he did to himself."

"Did to himself? Impossible! Obi-Wan isn't stupid! This – something must have made him do this! An undercover mission or he was captured or…"

Vokra Che looked uncharacteristically sympathetic. "Anakin, he briefed us on the mission. It barely strayed from being a routine negotiation during a hostage situation. He had admitted there was no reason for him not to be in perfect health."

"He is awake? Why wasn't I told? Why can't I see him?"

"Skywalker! He wasn't conscious for long and it was better that you were asleep. But there are more important matters to discuss! You can see him, after you hear me out! You cannot go barging in there. This is something more than a physical injury! He did this to himself, do you know what that implies? He could have an eating disorder, Skywalker! "

"You think he has…has an eating disorder?"

"It is a very good possibility. He has been starving himself. We just don't know why."

"No. Why the kriff would Obi-Wan do that to himself? He's smarter – he wouldn't – why would he do that? He was fine before he left! We went to Dexter's for lunch and – that can't be it. You are wrong. You must be."

It was moments like these she understood why so many people feared Anakin Skywalker. She had seen him angry before, but this was something else. He seemed to be calling on the Force, harnessing all his anger as pure energy, just waiting to use it on the next person to cross him. His eyes were flashing, the Force screaming around him. It took a massive amount of control to gather that much power, and Anakin looked ready to lose control at any moment. If Anakin lost total control, it was likely he could bring down the ceiling of this half of the Temple. She had never felt anyone who had this great of a connection with the Force.

"I could be wrong. I hope I am. But until we find out, I am going to request that you do not act like your typical self and barge in there shouting at him for being irresponsible. If you want to help him, find out what is wrong with him."

"What do I need to do?" Vokara Che let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding. Already, she could feel Anakin's anger measurably decrease. As guilty as she felt saying it, she felt safer now. She trusted Anakin, but his potential for destruction did not escape her. He was far less frightening when he was calm.

"We need to determine what disorder he has."

"If he has a disorder How do you know that he does?!"

Vokara Che glared at him. "This is my job, Skywalker. No physical injuries that suggest he was held captive and no signs of sickness or other ailments. There are no physical reasons why he would suddenly lose so much weight."

"Okay, okay, what am I looking for?"

"Skywalker, if you don't do this right I can ban you from seeing Kenobi until he is fully recovered. But you are looking for his reason. Was he binging and then regretting it and vomiting? Or did he stop eating because he sees his body image as excessively large?"

"His body is perfect. He knows that. Can I see him now?"

"Fine. But I am accompanying you."

"After all the wonderful times we've had together, you still don't trust me?"

" I trust you as much as Master Windu."

"You wound me."

She had never wanted to hit another Jedi so badly.


	4. Chapter 4

Obi-Wan still looked extremely weak. Anakin tried to restrain himself from running over to the bed and taking Obi-Wan into his arms. He skin might have lost the sweaty, feverish look, but that only provided a fraction of relief for Anakin. He was more concerned about Obi-Wan's arms, which were resting above the blankets, needles and tubes inserted in them. They looked as if the needle could pierce right through them they were so frighteningly thin.

"Obi-Wan, what's going on?"

Obi-Wan smiled weakly at him and then gestured to the nutrient tubes in his arms. "Clearly nothing enjoyable."

"That isn't what I meant. Were you starving yourself?"

Vokara Che regretted letting Anakin do this. Subtly clearly was not his strong suit. "Skywalker! I could have asked him that!" She hissed. Honestly. If she had wanted to be so rudely blunt she would have been.

"Master Che, Anakin has never been subtle. You get used to it. I am aware I have not been eating correctly and I have been burning more calories than I have been consuming. I do not have an eating disorder, I am not binging and nor am I unhappy with how I look. I have been merely distracted and busy with my work."

Neither of them were buying it. It was too recited, too perfect, even for the Grand Negotiator. It was one thing to forget a few meals. To lose almost a quarter of your weight in six months was not forgetful, it was a deliberate combination of not eating and overworking.

"If you knew it was so unhealthy why didn't you remember to eat?"

"Anakin, let it go. I was busy. Besides, I was overweight to begin with. This is just depriving you of the chance to call me a pudgy old man."

_Oh. Oh. Oh! _It might have been a small comment, but to Anakin, it all suddenly just clicked. He had jokingly made that comment months ago. Why would Obi-Wan have remembered it? The only reason it would have stuck with him too long was if he thought Anakin was being honest. Obi-Wan thirty-eight years old and had suddenly become insecure about his body? The only reason he would change was for Anakin.

The amount of control Anakin had over Obi-Wan had always scared him. He would do anything for Obi-Wan, but that didn't mean he obeyed his every wish, no matter how much Obi-Wan would like him too. Obi-Wan, however, always felt that if Anakin wanted him to change something, it was his duty to change it. Anakin complained when Obi-Wan shaved off his beard and Obi-Wan grew it back. Anakin made a comment Obi-Wan was getting pudgy and Obi-Wan decided to frantically diet. Anakin never wanted to have Obi-Wan in his control that deeply. Obi-Wan was his own person, his equal. Hell, Anakin saw Obi-Wan as far superior to him, in both skill and intelligence. The last thing he wanted to see was Obi-Wan desperately trying to please Anakin like some puppy begging for praise.

"Master Che, could you give us a moment?" She studied Anakin for a few seconds and then nodded. As soon as she had left, Anakin sat down on the edge of Obi-Wan's bed.

"You are an idiot!"

"Anakin, I told you – "

"– you did this to yourself. Because I called you fat."

"I decided it would be in my best interest to lose weight _only _because I was overweight, Anakin. It is hardly befitting of a Jedi to be overweight, particularly with a partner who is the posterboy for fitness."

"If this was just for your "best interest" why didn't you stop after five pounds? Or ten? This isn't right, Obi-Wan. Surely you realize that!"

"I thought you would appreciate if your boyfriend wasn't so overweight."

Anakin gaped at him. "You thought I would appreciate you looking like you came back from Jabiim? Making me relive the nightmare of spending nights alone wondering if you were going to survive or not? You think I like feeling every single bone in your body? I will kill Ventress if I have the chance for what she did to you on Jabiim. And you did this to yourself?"

Obi-Wan felt extremely stupid, and unappreciated. He had gone out of his way to do this for Anakin, he could at least pretend to be grateful. "This is nothing like Jabiim. And I did try, Anakin. I'm sorry I can't be your ideal person. I won't ever be that young, beautiful man that you want."

Anakin was thoroughly confused. Where was he getting this from? "I don't want anyone else but you, Obi-Wan."

"You have a funny way of showing it."

"What do you want me to say? I love that you are underweight?"

"Well, seeing how you reacted to me being overweight, I would think you would – "

" – you think I would like that you starved yourself? You think – that's the type of person you think I am? That I would want to see you like this?" If that was the impression he gave Obi-Wan, then he was possibly the worst boyfriend in the galaxy. He might as well have tied Obi-Wan to the bed, beat him and starved him. Either way, he was responsible. He had no idea he had that much control. A few careless, joking words and it could lead to this? He hadn't given Obi-Wan a reason to think Anakin was unhappy with him? Had he? Anakin wasn't showering him in endearments but he certainty wasn't insulting him. Obi-Wan was perfect. Yes, he was older. Yes, he was overweight. But so what?

"Do you have any idea what I did for you?"

"No. I don't. I don't think you did a kriffing thing for me, Obi-Wan. So why don't you tell me?"


	5. Chapter 5

Obi-Wan hated not eating. He supposed that was why he was in the mess to begin with. He liked to eat – and the scale showed it. So his starvation diet hard started, even if it was somewhat reluctantly. He did nee to lose a few pounds and Anakin would rather him thinner. It would be a win- win situation. It was a bit strange, forcing himself to hate his body. Obi-Wan had never looked in the mirror and saw himself as a fat or digesting. He saw himself as, well, him, good or bad, it was his body. That was why it was such an effort to make the conscious decision to not eat anything. He had to remind himself it was only temporary. If he could just sacrifice a month or so of meals, then he would lose enough weight and could go back to moderately eating.

And then he had stood in front of a mirror and pictured himself from Anakin's point of view. As a young, tall, slender Padawan, Obi-Wan would have balked at the idea of being romantically involved with someone so much older and less attractive than him. Looking at himself now, he saw what Anakin saw. Anakin was a young, dashingly handsome war hero. He could have anyone. The young, beautiful Senator Amidala who he used to fancy. She was intelligent, witty, strong, and breathtaking. Several attractive young men had flirted with him on missions. Obi-Wan always wondered if Anakin regretted being with Obi-Wan. He was tied down with Obi-Wan, all the thousands of possibilities of male and female suitors alike taken away from him by one inferior Jedi.

There was certainly nothing that made Obi-Wan stand out from the others. He was shorter than Anakin, his eyes were a cloudy, impure blue, his hair a dirty mesh of copper colors. Obi-Wan tugged his shirt off. His torso was well built, his muscles fairly well defined, but there was a clear layer of pudge. He could easily pinch a good amount of fat around his waist and on his stomach. This, compared to Anakin, who hardly had an ounce of fat on his body. That was the moment Obi-Wan decided that just losing a few pounds wasn't enough. He had to lose all of it. All this extra fat, the stupid flesh that was clinging to him needed to be gone. And until it was, Anakin would have every right to call Obi-Wan pudgy.

That became his motivation. Every time he felt a craving to eat something, every time that he felt too exhausted to continue running, he would pinch or poke himself. It was a cruel reminder of what he had to lose in order to keep Anakin. His mind started to poison itself, telling him the truths he did not want to hear

_What do you think Anakin is doing? On a mission by himself, free to flirt with all the pretty girls and boys he wants. No old, fat boyfriend to hold him back. _

_Only a few months left. You can do it. Just think about Anakin. Think about how happy he will be. _

_Considering eating again? Want to get fatter? Push Anakin further away? He's going to see you and run in the other direction. _

_You still have so much further to go, so much more weight to lose. Come on, Kenobi. You're stronger than this. Can't lose a few pounds?_

_Only a few weeks. You aren't doing enough. You need to do more. You need to be better. You are a Jedi. Set an example. _

_I'm surprised Anakin will still sleep in the same bed. _

_Anakin is perfect for you. Why don't you want to be perfect for him? Doesn't he deserve better?_

Anakin was speechless. Obi-Wan had seemed to have forgotten he was in the room. He was talking almost to himself, his Force shields slipping to allow his memories and thoughts to leak through. It was frightening. Anakin found himself tightening his shields, just to prevent Obi-Wan's thoughts from leaking through. It was terrifying. Coming back from Jabiim or Zigoola, his mind had been just as frantic and irrational, but at least Obi-Wan had known that. He had known his mind was not in the right state and had done his best to allow Anakin to help him organize his thoughts. But this time – this time, Obi-Wan thought nothing was wrong. There was no hesitation, no guilt, no confusion. Obi-Wan thought he had been doing the absolute best thing. He had been so desperate to…to do this for Anakin that he had lost himself. Allowed himself to be put down just for the sake of trying to "fix" himself. All over one insincere comment.

"This – you really – you…you did this all for me?"

"Yes, Anakin. I did."

"Then…I think – I think it would be better to end this. Right now."

"Anakin – "

" – you starved yourself. Because of one little comment I made. I don't – I don't want to have that much control over you, Obi-Wan. I don't want you to feel like you need to almost kill yourself to be good enough for me! So…I think it will be better. It is my fault you did this, Obi-Wan. I can't deal with that. I can't – I can't imagine you hurting yourself to – to please me. "

"Anakin, please…"

"I'm sorry. But if you think that you need to do something like this to please me, then – then I'm not the right person for you. If you don't think I love you for who you are, then that isn't a healthy relationship Obi-Wan. I – I respect you too much to let you keep doing this. I love you, Obi-Wan. So please, stop hurting yourself. Find someone who you don't need to change for."

Anakin hastily left the room, wiping tears from his eyes. He stopped long enough to tell Vokara Che, "Help him. Please. I'm just going to make things worse." And then he ran back to his – their quarters. Everything that he owned he started to throw into bags. He did had his own living space, he had just never been in it. It seemed strange to live without Obi-Wan. Now, it would be the best choice. Obi-Wan needed time alone. He needed time without Anakin, time to realize that his obsession to be perfect for Anakin was ridiculous. Anakin hated to do it. The realization that he had broken up with Obi-Wan was sinking in and he felt miserable. The only consolation he had was that it would be for Obi-Wan's own good. It would be worth it. Any pain he was feeling would be worth it to see Obi-Wan walking around the Temple, restored to his full health.

* * *

Obi-Wan meanwhile seemed to have different plans. He was desperately pulling the needles out of his veins, stumbling to his feet and out of the Healer's Ward. There was no point for him being here. Anakin had broken up with him. Obi-Wan was supposed to have made everything better. He had planned to return and make Anakin proud of him. Anakin was supposed to want him more, not less. Clearly, nothing he could do was enough. Maybe he was just a complete failure. If he wasn't good enough for Anakin he wouldn't be good enough for anyone ever again.

Vokara Che tried to restrain him and found herself shoved backwards against the wall. She fumbled for her commlink. Skywalker was always willing to come to Kenobi's aid. Except this time, Anakin's commlink was turned off.

* * *

A/N: The chapters will start getting lighter! I'm trying to stop the angst!


	6. Chapter 6

Three days after Anakin broke up with Obi-Wan, Vokara Che, accompanied by Bant found him eating and both smacked him over the head with their lightsaber hilts.

Anakin swore loudly. "What was that for?"

"You haven't answered your commlink in three days, Skywalker!"

"I didn't want to be disturbed. So what?"

"So ever since you said Force-knows-what to Master Kenobi, he left and has not returned! He is not well enough to be on his own, Skywalker!"

"He won't listen to me. Not anymore."

"Skywalker, he had refused orders from both Master Yoda and myself. He also refused to listen to Master Eerin."

Anakin turned around to face Bant. "You're his oldest friend, he won't listen to you?"

Bant shook her head. "He seems to think that if you cannot deal with him, no one else should be burdened with him. He's turned off his commlink and won't answer his door."

"Maybe he just needs time alone." Anakin said angrily. "I am not going to be responsible for him anymore. What if I say something else? At this point, if I call him too thin he might start binging until he's one-hundred pounds overweight! He is better without me!"

"He will always be your responsibility," Vokara Che hissed, "he is your former Master and as much as you might deny it, you and he are connected beyond the bonds of duty. He is sick, Skywalker. And you might be our last chance to get through to him."

"Anakin," Bant said softly, "he loves you. And Obi-Wan's biggest fear has always been failing those he loves. He had never felt he was good enough for anyone. You know about him and Qui-Gon?"

Anakin hesitated. "I know he was sent to AgriCorps because Qui-Gon would not take him as an Apprentice."

Bant nodded. "And when Qui-Gon did take him as a Padawan, Obi-Wan never felt he could do enough to prove himself. He even felt that you had replaced him in Qui-Gon's eyes. Obi-Wan is the strongest man I know, but he fears failing. He thinks he isn't worth being loved – or isn't good enough for someone's love."

"That's ridiculous. Obi-Wan knew I loved him. He was just being – "

" – he was being irrational, Skywalker. We know. But the only person who can convince him otherwise is you."

"What if I can't? What if I just make things worse and he starves himself to death? I love him. That's why I left. I couldn't bear to see him kill himself because of what I had said."

Vokara Che averted her eyes. "He is near that point already, I am afraid to say. If we cannot convince him to return to the Healer's Wing or to eat something, his organs are going to start failing."

"He will listen to you. You mean the world to him, Anakin. If he lost you, I don't think he would be able to live with himself."

"But – if it doesn't – if I can't…"

"Skywalker, no one will blame you. It is ultimately Master Kenobi's choice. But at this point, I fear this is nothing to lose."

Anakin nodded. "I – I will do my best, Masters."

* * *

Obi-Wan refused to open his door and had decided to change the passcode to ensure Anakin could not get it. Anakin knew he was in there of course, there was no denying that achingly familiar Force signature.

"Obi-Wan, please."

The door slid open. Anakin wondered if it was possible that Obi-Wan looked worse than he had three days ago.

"Anakin."

"Obi-Wan. I...Master Che would like you in the Healer's Wing. Or you need to eat something."

"I am not going back to the Healer's Wing, Anakin. And I am afraid to say that I am still your superior and you cannot give me commands."

"I thought you said we were equals." Anakin said softly, walking towards Obi-Wan until they were standing hardly an inch apart. "Breaking up with you was the worst decision I made. I regretted it as soon as I walked out the door. If you want to go back to being only comrades, fine. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not," Obi-Wan breathed, "but if I am not what you want then…"

Anakin pulled Obi-Wan into his arms. "Of course you are what I want. I have never once imagined spending the rest of my life with anyone but you. Who else would put up with me?

"I don't want you to be disappointed."

"Obi-Wan, I have never been disappointed with you."

"I'm overweight."

"I never thought for one moment you were overweight. I have never wished or imagined you thinner. Obi-Wan Kenobi, you are attractive just the way you are."

Obi-Wan clung to Anakin. "Anakin, you must – there must be something about me you would want to change."

"Would you want to change anything about me?"

"No, but you are so much younger, Anakin. So much more handsome and filled with life. I'm just an old, broken man. There are so many things about me to be fixed."

"There is nothing that needs to be fixed. Nothing. But I do wish you would start eating, Obi-Wan."

"That – that's the only thing you want changed?"

"Yes. I want you to go back to enjoying food. I want you to pig out on cake with me late and night, go to Dexter's with me for lunch. I want my adorable, slightly pudgy boyfriend back. I don't want you to change to try and please me."

Obi-Wan was silent, but buried his face in Anakin's tunic. "Obi-Wan, I promise. I am never going to leave you. Just promise me you will eat something."

Obi-Wan pulled away. The thought of eating anything seemed to turn his stomach, he had become so unused to anything but water and the rare protein cube. But if that was all Anakin wanted…if all he truly wanted was to be able to watch Obi-Wan eat and enjoy himself…he could do that. That was the healthy thing to do, wasn't it? He was supposed to eat. Still, he pulled out a simple long pudding cup from their cooler and brought it to the table.

Anakin was staring at him. Obi-Wan's inner voice was screaming at him.

_ It's just a test. And if you eat that, you are going to fail. He will know you are not dedicated to him. You aren't strong enough. You are weak. If you eat that, all your hard work will be for nothing. As soon as you put that in your mouth is he going to walk away. _

Obi-Wan threw it behind him into the sink. "I'm sorry, Anakin. I just, I can't. I can't do it."

He put his head in his arms and started slowly crying. Anakin stood behind him and started to lovingly rub his back. "Shhh. It's alright. We'll get through this. I promise."

He just wished he knew how.


	7. Chapter 7

It made Anakin extremely nervous that Obi-Wan wouldn't see a Healer. Lately, Obi-Wan was always cold, extremely tired, and extremely unsteady on his feet. He was stumbling and crashing into furniture wherever he went. As a result Anakin had encouraged him to spend most of his days sleeping, layers of blankets wrapped around him. It saved him from expending energy he didn't have. Anakin, meanwhile, was rushing around like crazy. He had never been much of a germaphobe now found himself sterilizing their entire apartment, obsessively washing his hands before even went in the same room as Obi-Wan. He know it might be ridiculous, but with practically all of Obi-Wan's systems shutting down or already destroyed, he was not going to risk him catching something. Even a small cold was likely to destroy his virtually nonexistent immune system. Anakin hated to think of what something stronger would do.

Still, surprisingly, Obi-Wan's recovery was actually progressing nicely, even with his protests against the Healers. Anakin had argued with him awhile about it and no matter what excuse Obi-Wan tried to give, it didn't quite hide the fact he was embarrassed. He was afraid of being judged, of being called weak, of people giving sympathy to Anakin for having to be burdened with yet another of Obi-Wan's ills. No matter how many times Anakin told him that was ridiculous, Obi-Wan refused to listen. Reluctantly, Anakin promised that he would not make Obi-Wan leave their quarters or see a Healer, provided he actually started eating.

Anakin was doing his best to make eating seem less...less choleric he supposed. No heavy, rich foods. He had started to dissolve a few protein cubes in a glass of water and get Obi-Wan to drink it. It wasn't the ideal solution, but it would give his body at least some of the nutrients it needed, seeing as Obi-Wan was still not eating nearly enough. He had at least started to eat something, even if it was only a few sips of soup or a few bites of a sandwich. Even that had taken a few days to accomplish. The first time Obi-Wan had finally eaten less than half of some protein bar, he started to panic and refused to meet Anakin's eye. He had tried to push himself off the bed. He felt so fat. He was going to gain back all the weight he lost. He was going to go back to being obese. He couldn't do that to Anakin.

Obi-Wan had started to shake, hands trembling and eyes watering. As soon as Anakin noticed, he slid into the bed, pulling Obi-Wan into his lap and wrapping his arms around him.

"Shhh. It's okay. You are perfect, Obi-Wan. Perfect. Perfect. Shhh. I'm always going to be here. Relax. Nothing happened. Nothing is going to happen. You are doing okay. You're going to be okay. Shhh. Just trust me. I love you, Obi-Wan. I love you. "

Anakin repeated himself over and over, until he felt Obi-Wan stop shaking and gradually start to relax. Thankfully, those occurances were happening less and less often. Anakin was still sensitive to sensing Obi-Wan's panic, but after doing so several times, it seemed that he was finally getting through to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan started to become adjusted to eating increasing (although still very small) portions and his love of food seemed to be returning. Obi-Wan had started talking about food, no longer acting as if naming it was the same as eating it.

"What do you want today?"

Obi-Wan hesitated. "Nothing – nothing much, Anakin. Just…Jello would be fine."

"Color?"

"Honestly, Anakin, it all tastes the same."

"No! Clearly, some flavors are better. Do you really want green jello?"

"Oh, no, I suppose not. I don't know who can stand that stuff."

"It happens to be my favorite kind."

"Yes, well, add it to the list of everything else wrong with you."

Anakin laughed. "I don't know what you could be talking about. But fine," he dramatically huffed, "I will leave and make your jello."

"Do try not to burn down the kitchen."

"Once." Anakin muttered. "One time microwaving the water in a metal bowl…how the kriff was I supposed to know it catches fire?"

"Most people use their common sense." Obi-Wan called.

"Yeah, yeah."

Anakin actually felt that it was going to be okay. Obi-Wan was going at a slow, but steady pace and if he kept increasing his food intake at the pace he was, he would be in good shape for the future. Already his skin had started to lose the waxy paleness.

Of course, as soon as Anakin thought that, he jinxed it.


	8. Chapter 8

Obi-Wan was starving. He was supposed to be waiting for Anakin to return from Dexter's with a milkshake and fries, but he just felt like eating more. Anakin said nothing was wrong with eating. He was supposed to eat. He _liked _eating. The textures, the tastes…he had been missing out for so long. He wandered into the kitchen, carefully keeping one hand on the wall or the furniture to support him. He doubted there was actually something in the kitchen to eat. He rummaged through a few drawers and cabinets before looking in the fridge. There was one of Anakin's personal, two serving chocolate cakes. The entire unit smelled like a giant cake, the cake itself looking like best thing Obi-Wan had seen in his life.

He took it out and cut himself a sliver of a piece. He longed to cut himself almost half the cake. He was positively starving. How long had it been since he had something so sweet and sugary to eat? Not for several months. He would eat his small piece and that would be that. Anakin would be please he had eaten and he wouldn't make himself look like a glutton. The first bite was absolute heaven. It was a man in the desert finding a stream. He really had been depriving himself.

* * *

Anakin came in the door with bags from Dexter and was surprised, but pleased, to see Obi-Wan at the table with an empty plate in front of him.

"I take it you don't want Dexter's?"

Obi-Wan shook his head and Anakin threw the bags he was holding into the fridge. Obi-Wan quietly moaned. He didn't even want to think about food. He wrapped his arms around his stomach and started to rock, back and forth. His stomach must just be full. He just needed to lie down for a few minutes and digest and he would be fine.

Anakin noticed the missing cake and then looked back at the empty plate in front of Obi-Wan. "You ate that whole thing?"

"I'm sorry. I – I was only going to have a small piece. I – I lost control, it was – I hadn't…"

"You haven't eaten anything that sweet in months, it's no wonder you were craving it. Don't apologize." He studied him. "You look…sick. Are you okay?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "I just need to lie down. I think I ate a little bit too much." He chuckled hollowly. "You needn't worry about me much longer. If I keep eating like this I'll be back to being overweight in no time."

Anakin helped Obi-Wan to his feet. "Hey, you haven't eaten anything in months. You deserve to eat what you want."

"Perhaps but – " His stomach, which was so unused to any amounts of food anymore, violently rejected the overload of sugar and rich food. He tried to pus Anakin away seconds before he hunched over and started vomiting over everything. His shoes, Anakin's shoes, and the floor were all covered with the lovely brown sludge of what had been the cake. He sank to his knees, trembling, his throat burning, the horrible taste of bile in his mouth and his face positively red with humiliation.

_Anakin will appreciate you throwing up on him. That's what you get. Pig. This is what happens when you eat. What will Anakin think now?_

What would Anakin think now? Obi-Wan vaguely wondered. He longed to stand up but didn't think his legs would support him. Anakin was calling him. Obi-Wan refused to look up and meet his gaze.

"Obi-Wan. Come on, stand up." Obi-Wan numbly let Anakin pull him to his feet and lead him into the bathroom. Anakin took off his tunic, pants, and shoes, and then motioned for Obi-Wan to do the same. He collected them all and left the room. Obi-Wan stood unmoving in the middle of the room. Was Anakin coming back?

_Of course he isn't. Why would he come back for you? He was being so patient with you these past days. This is the final straw. And if he doesn't want to put up with you, no one else is going to. You might as well leave the Jedi Temple. "_No", Obi-Wan said angrily. "Anakin will return. He loves me. He – he'll return. I know he will."

"Of course I returned." Anakin said. "I needed to wash these and the floor. I didn't leave you. Here." he handed Obi-Wan a cup of water to rinse the foul taste from his mouth. When Obi-Wan put the cup down Anakin took a wet cloth he was holding and started to wipe Obi-Wan's forehead with it. Obi-Wan pushed him away and walked off to the bedroom. Anakin followed him.

"Does your stomach still hurt?"

"No more than my dignity."

Anakin sighed. "You were eating, Obi-Wan. It's a good sign."

"So what, Anakin? I eat and then go back to being overweight and then maybe not this year or next, but sometime you are just going to leave me. I'm either too thin or too fat. I can't please anyone. I will be the old retired Jedi living with cats!"

"What else can I do? How do you want me to prove I'm never going to leave you?"

"Anakin, you don't need to prove yourself to me. I – I will just enjoy your company while I have it." He clambered into bed laying on his back. "Although I would recommend sleeping elsewhere…my stomach is still feeling uneasy."

Anakin ignored his warning and slipped under the covers, resting on his side so he could start tenderly tracing random patterns on Obi-Wan's stomach.

"You don't need – "

" – I know. But does it help?"

"…yes."

"Are you going to keep eating?"

"I- I don't know. After this…I just – I can't Anakin. I can't do it. I'm sorry."

"Yes, you can. You can do it, but no matter if you do or don't, I'm still going to be by your side. Even if that means getting thrown up on."

"Stay with me as long as you want, Anakin. I appreciate that you stay with me. But don't feel guilty should you ever want to leave."

"Obi-Wan, you are my life. I can't live without you and I don't plan on it. You are going to get better. You will start eating normally and you will realize you're stuck with me forever."

"Jedi never speak in absolutes."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Fine. I will prove it to you. I am only going to eat what and when you eat."

"Anakin, that's – no, you…"

"If it is fine for you, it's fine for me. I live and die with you. Will that prove it?"

"Anakin…you- you need not prove anything to me. These are my problems. They don't concern you."

Anakin smiled weakly and kissed Obi-Wan's forehead. "They became my problems as soon as I fell in love with you."

* * *

A/N: So…this might be the last chapter for awhile because I can't think of an ending where Obi-Wan doesn't die…so…if you have any requests/suggestions for future chapters…I would love them!


	9. Chapter 9

Not eating was surprisingly not one of the worst ideas that Anakin had, but it was most certainly one of the hardest to carry out through. He was kriffing staving. All the time. It had only been two days and already he was begging Obi-Wan to eat something. He felt like his stomach was collapsing. He had no idea how Obi-Wan had done it for this long. Anakin just wanted something to eat.

"Obi-Wan, please. Eat something."

"Anakin, you can get something to eat, you hardly need my approval."

"I won't eat until you eat. But I'm hungry…." Anakin whined. There was no way he was going back on his promise, of course, but he wasn't going to let Obi-Wan think he was happy about it.

Obi-Wan's sighed. "Anakin, I – I am trying. I just….what if I get sick again?"

"You ate an entire chocolate cake, _I _would have been sick. You aren't going to be sick eating something smaller."

"Perhaps later, Anakin." Anakin looked disappointed but didn't push it.

Obi-Wan felt miserable. There was no reason that Anakin should suffer over his choices. "Anakin, please, you do not have to do this."

"Neither do you."

"Anakin, I hate to see you like this."

"You mean seeing me the same way I see you?"

"You don't have the extra weight to lose."

"Neither do you!"

"I'm overweight, Anakin."

Anakin grabbed Obi-Wan roughly by the shoulders. "No you aren't! You haven't been in months! Look," he wrapped his fingers around Obi-Wan's wrist, "you know this isn't healthy. You wrist is like a child's! Obi-Wan, tell me you can see why this is scaring me?"

"If it scares you, why inflict it upon yourself?"

"To show you how dangerous it is! If you want to starve yourself to death, fine. But I'm not going to let you die alone."

Obi-Wan looked incredulously at him. "You're willing to die for me?"

"It wouldn't be the first time."

"But that's on missions, Anakin. This is different."

"I would die protecting you on missions, why not die to protect you from yourself?"

Obi-Wan was speechless. He had no words for that amount of loyalty. He had no idea what he did to deserve that amount of loyalty. There was nothing that special about him that would lead Anakin to so blindly tie his life with Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan might be reckless with his own life, but he was not going to jeopardize Anakin's. He tried to imagine Anakin in another few weeks, looking as Obi-Wan did now. Anakin's already thin frame looking gaunt and sickly…he would be watching Anakin wither away because hewas too stubborn to simply eat something?

Obi-Wan felt his vision start to blur and he started slowly sinking to the ground. Anakin caught him easily. He hoisted Obi-Wan carefully into his arms and despite his weak protests, walked him down to the Healer's Ward.

* * *

As soon as Obi-Wan was situated, Anakin expected Vokara Che's tirade against him. After all, he had promised to help Obi-Wan and clearly that hadn't worked out if he was once again carrying a still dreadfully light Jedi Master through the halls.

Vokara Che, however, seemed extremely pleased. "You seem to be doing well, Skywalker."

"I – what? Really?"

She eyed him. "You have gotten him to eat more, haven't you?"

"Well, yes, but not…not the past few days. I mean, I've been forcing more protein cubes on him, but not much solid food."

"That is to be expected. He has all the symptoms of the beginning of acute viral nasopharyngitis. It would not have helped his appetite."

Anakin started freaking out. "Is that dangerous? I did my best to clean…is there something I can do? Is he going to be okay? Can – "

"– Skywalker!"

" – does he need medicine or anything? What do I have to do? Can I take him back to our quarters? He hates being in the Healer's Ward and I promised him I wouldn't bring him back, but – "

Vokara Che slapped him on the back of the head. "Skywalker! He has the common cold."

"Oh."

"You may take him back to his quarters. I have told the Council to continue to keep you both out of the field. Master Kenobi is still in no condition and I believe you are still his best chance at recovery. The cold should only last a week or so. Make sure he stays hydrated. He is not going to want solid foods with his sore throat. The nasal congestion is going to prevent him from tasting anything, so I am going to recommend some nutrient shakes. They taste awful, but should help him."

Anakin nodded.

"He is still in danger, Skywalker. Once he recovers from this virus, he needs to start eating. We should be thankful it is only a cold. Anything more severe and I do not think he would recover."

Obi-Wan hobbled into the room. "I am not as near to my death bed as you may think."

"I would disagree with you, Master Kenobi."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did Master Skywalker inform you of his plan to also stop eating?"

Vokara Che turned angrily around to face Anakin, arm raised. Anakin jumped back. "No need to hit me again."

"Are you an idiot? What are you thinking?!"

"I told him that I would eat anything he did. If I don't eat, that isn't my choice any longer."

Vokara Che paused to think about that one. It was stupid and reckless…but that was the typical style of Anakin Skywalker. He knew Obi-Wan Kenobi the best and was the best hope to pull him back from the dangerous ledge he was teetering on.

"Then I expect you to drink the nutrient shakes as well. And I hope both of you know what you are doing. It would be a shame to lose two of the finest Jedi in the Temple."

Anakin grinned. "I knew you secretly loved me."

She glared at him. Obi-Wan did as well. Anakin raised his hands in defeat and walked out. "Fine, fine. I'll be back in my room."

"Master Che, I will do my best to take care of Anakin."

"Yes, well see that you also let him watch out for you. He is going to sink or swim with you. I suggest you just let him keep you afloat."

Obi-Wan merely nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Dragonpearlz: I have never written any sick character before so I hope this is at least a semi-decent attempt. You are pretty much the Queen at it. :)

To anon guest Ellie: I'm glad you are enjoying the story! I can promise a bit of an open ending so you can infer if you want a death or not. (I won't say of who though). I am not doing a bulimic Obi-Wan however, mostly for the same reason I don't want to write him really anorexic…..I don't know enough about either disorders to do them justice, I just want to show his extremely vulnerable side and how far he would fall for Anakin.

* * *

Anakin doubled checked his list for the ninth time, desperately trying not to look around him at all the delicious food that he wasn't allowed to eat. He had a half dozen boxes of tissues, a bag of cough drops, an assortment of soups (Anakin had no idea what some of them were, but he hoped Obi-Wan might), the recommended nutrient shakes, and then a couple holomovies he had just randomly thrown into his basket. On his way back to the Temple, he made a last minute decision to stop and buy some new blankets and pillows. It might cost him about four months of his Temple stipend, but it would be worth it. Their Temple quarters were not meant for comfort and Anakin had never heard Obi-Wan complain about their bed, but he was sure he would make no complaints about getting more comfortable bedding.

He returned to the Temple about an hour later than when Obi-Wan expected him back. Anakin wouldn't admit it to Obi-Wan, but he fully blamed going eleven days without food on his lateness. He just seemed to lack energy. He seemed less alert and less focused on everything. It was exhausting, not to mention distracting. Every smell from nearby vendors were calling to him. Nonetheless, he made it back to the Temple.

He was met by a cacophony of sneezing and coughing from the bedroom. "Anakin? What took you so long?" Obi-Wan wheezed. Anakin hastily threw the soups into their refrigeration unit and dragged the other bags into the bedrooms.

"What – " he broke off sneezing. He reached for a tissue only to find the three boxes by his bedside empty. Anakin reached into his bag and handed Obi-Wan anther box.

"I bought some new blankets and sheets."

"We can't afford that."

"Well, we've been saving money on food," he said lightly, "besides, don't tell me you won't appreciate it."

Anakin handed Obi-Wan a nutrient shake and then set about opening the new pillows and sheets. Anakin really wasn't much of a nursemaid, but he still did what he could. He helped Obi-Wan out of bed, replaced all the blankets and pillows and then settled him back down. Obi-Wan gestured to another bottle.

"You did promise."

Anakin kicked off his shoes and scrambled into the bed, grabbing the second bottle as he did so. Almost immediately, Obi-Wan moved over so he could lean against Anakin. Anakin finished his drink quickly and then made a face and threw the empty nutrient shake into the trash. "Ergh. You should be thankful you can't taste anything."

Obi-Wan looked up at him and gestured to his mound of tissues, his nose a bright, angry red. "Yes, I'm thrilled I cannot breathe or taste or smell."

"Well, you were with me when you were contagious, so I'm sure I'll get it next."

"Sorry."

Anakin shrugged. "I've had worse than a cold."

"So have I."

"Not when you've already been sick."

"You consider me sick?"

Anakin looked down at him in confusion. "What else would I think?"

"I have not been sick, Anakin. I…I don't know what I have been. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't know why I thought…I wasn't sick…I was – "

"– you were mislead. You have self-esteem problems."

"Problems which should have been my own and I made them yours. I am terribly sorry you are always expected to deal with the mess."

Anakin wrapped his arms more tightly around Obi-Wan's chest. "You are not a mess."

Obi-Wan started to laugh, which soon broke off into a severe coughing fit. Anakin lazily flicked his hand and sent a cough drop flying into Obi-Wan's grasp.

"You are not a mess," Anakin repeated, "everyone is entitled to bad days. I've had enough."

"Haven't you had enough of my bad days?" _And me? _It was his unasked question, but Anakin understood it anyway.

"Sickness and in health," Anakin reminded him, "one good day is worth all the bad ones."

"Sickness and in health is for marriage, Anakin."

"Aren't we?"

"Aren't we what? Married?"

Anakin blushed. "Well, yeah, I consider us married. Why not? I'm going to be here for you no matter what, I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else, I would do anything for you, I love you…isn't that marriage in everything but a title?" He paused and thought about it. "That sounds a bit creepy I suppose. I mean, I guess I should have asked you. It is sort of rude saying 'This is my husband, I just haven't asked him to marry me yet.' Whoops. Sorry…"

Obi-Wan felt overwhelmed. He clutched at Anakin's arms and twisted around to face him, desperately trying to search Anakin's eyes to see if he was joking. He wasn't. Anakin was being absolutely truthful. This was more than just a temporary commitment of dating. This was permanent. This was life. This was…no matter how old or pudgy or sick and thin and weak Obi-Wan may be, he was always going to have Anakin to support him. That was a commitment Obi-Wan did not expect anyone to ever show to him.

"Anakin." His voice caught in his throat and he had another small coughing and sneezing fit. Anakin handed him another tissue and started to run his fingers lightly through Obi-Wan's hair.

"Anakin. Not that you asked, but…my answer would have been yes."

Anakin grinned. "One of these days I might actually ask you. I was thinking when Master Che and Master Windu are nearby. They need some spontaneity in their life."

"And another blow to the head might knock some sense into you."

"That too."

Obi-Wan and Anakin sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, broken periodically by Obi-Wan blowing his nose and sniffling, before Obi-Wan pulled himself out of bed. He returned to the kitchen a few minutes later with a container of soup and two spoons. Wordlessly, he handed one to Anakin before he climbed back into Anakin's arms.

"You realize some of the soups aren't for human consumption?"

"Um…no. I bought one of each. I didn't really know what to get…"

Whatever one Anakin had picked was actually decent, luckily enough. Anakin and Obi-Wan ended up finishing the container, although Anakin was careful to only take a spoonful for every three or four of Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan clearly noticed that.

"Why don't you go to Dexter's and bring something back?"

"Will you eat it or should I tell him to put it in a box for later this week?"

"Why don't you get something for today and for next week. I expect it might actually be easier to eat if I can't taste the grease."

Anakin carefully extracted himself from the bed and nodded. "By the time I come back you'll be asleep anyway."

Obi-Wan, who was already clearly enjoying the feel of the new bed adornments, had started to drift off to sleep already. "Mmmn. I'm sure. You know me too well."

Anakin kissed him and then made his way out of his quarters. He had no doubt in his mind that this time, things really were going to be okay.

* * *

Obi-Wan was rudely awakened by a knock at his door. Wondering how Anakin could have forgotten the passcode once again, Obi-Wan got up to open the door.

"Bant! Why – " he caught sight of the grave expression on her face, which could only mean one thing " – what happened to Anakin?"

"He was found and brought to the Temple around three hours ago."

Obi-Wan was startled. He had been sleeping that long? He couldn't have been. Three hours? Anakin had only gone for a short food run. What had taken him so long? "What happened to Anakin." He repeated.

"Obi-Wan, you aren't well. When he gets out of surgery we can – "

"What happened to Anakin!" Obi-Wan screamed at her. Bant took his hand. "His speeder crashed. Vokara Che is doing her best to help him, but his skull was...He's strong. He'll pull through, Obi-Wan."

"He never crashes. Never." This was the man who piloted warships. Who could win battles fighting in a dying ship. This was the man who could traveled the galaxy. There was no way Anakin just crashed a speeder flying a few short kilometers through Courscant.

Bant hesitated. "We think he lost consciousness before he crashed. Master Che said he was not eating and we think his body might have been fighting a cold or the flu."

Obi-Wan went numb. "I want to see him."

"He is still with the Healers."

"Then I will go and wait."

Bant followed him to the Healer's Ward where he found a vacant chair.

"I will see how Anakin is doing. I promise to keep you updated, Obi-Wan."

It was almost three hours before Vokara Che came out to speak to Obi-Wan. Those three hours were the longest Obi-Wan had ever endured. He kept replaying the few hours they spent together before Anakin left. Anakin had considered Obi-Wan his husband. Not a boyfriend, not some convenient sex partner, but a life partner. And Obi-Wan had sent him to his death. It was his fault Anakin had not been eating. It was his fault Anakin had caught some infection. It was he who sent Anakin out. He could still feel Anakin's arms around him. He had felt safe. Loved. Protected. Feelings that he was likely to never feel again, not without Anakin.

"Master Kenobi, you can see Anakin now, " Obi-Wan jumped to his feet as Vokara Che continued, "but you should know that he is comatose. There was extensive injury to his skull and some cranial swelling and bleeding. We are not sure if he is going to regain consciousness."

Obi-Wan rushed over to Anakin's bedside, tears flowing down his face. Master Che gently handed him a bag. "He had this with him."

Obi-Wan opened it with trembling fingers, unsurprised to find that it was just their usual order from Dexter's. He felt disappointed, but couldn't place his finger on why. What else had he expected? It just seemed so terrible.

"The great Jedi Anakin Skywalker, survives heroic battles and crazy rescues missions but dies on a burger run." Obi-Wan choked out. "It seems unjust."

"From the little I knew of him, I would say he wouldn't mind that." Vokara Che quietly added. "Not all wars are fought on a battlefield."

She quietly turned and walked away. There was nothing left she could do. Obi-Wan sat down at the edge of Anakin's bed, brushing away the strands of hair on his forehead and then took hold of Anakin's hand in his own.

"I will be here for you when you wake up, Anakin. I love you, my husband. I am going to get better for you. I will do whatever it takes."

He could have sworn he felt Anakin squeeze his hand in response.

* * *

A/N: So….yeah! That's it! That's the end! I am going to do a reverse Obi-Wan eating disorder story next. I had the idea so show the severity of both ends of the eating disorder spectrum and how both are equally as serious, even if many people see starving yourself worse than binge eating. Hope you enjoyed this story!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: So I lied. This is the last chapter. :) I just couldn't leave it open ended and depressing.

* * *

Anakin woke up and couldn't remember how he ended up in the Healer's Ward. Last he could remember was telling Obi-Wan he would go to Dexter's. Or was he here waiting for Obi-Wan? His memory was always foggy after just waking up.

"Master Che? Hello?" No response. The Healer's Ward was completely empty. Anakin got to his feet and found he stumbled a few times before he decided to remember how to walk. The tube in his arm pulled out of what it was hooked up. So he wasn't just here for Obi-Wan then… Anakin stopped to pull out the other wires he hadn't realized were there. He pulled a bit harder than he intended and the bags and the stands went crashing to the ground.

"Skywalker! Why is it always you?"

"Master Che, I swear, this time it was a complete accident."

"Only awake for five minutes and you already insist on tearing up my ward. Honestly, Skywalker. Let me clean this up and then I will tend to you."

"I'm fine, I can – "

" – you will sit there," she pointed to the bed across from here, "and not argue. Being in a comma for nearly four months does not qualify as being fine."

Anakin gaped at her. "I – what? Four months? Are you sure?" He ran his fingers over his face. Ick. He felt like Obi-Wan. Apparently shaving was not something the Healer's did for the patients. Definitely had been four months though.

"Wanted to see how I looked with a beard? Secret fantasies about me?"

"I am going to pretend you are delirious and did not say that."

"Where's Obi-Wan?"

"Skywalker. We need to focus on you first."

Anakin started to get nervous. Their bond was still intact, but he couldn't sense him very clearly. Either he was extremely far away, or he was unconscious. "What happened?"

Vokara Che finished discarding the broken pieces of the medical equipment and started examining Anakin.

"How much do you remember?"

"I took my speeder, went to get burgers, and then….nothing." He tried to think harder about what happened. He and Obi-Wan were sitting in bed, he left their quarters, and surprisingly didn't obsess over speeder color because he just wanted to return to Obi-Wan. He had gone to Dexter's…he remembered having the bags in his hands…and then something else. His vision swimming, he felt faint and suddenly felt like he had to land his speeder when…nothing.

"I crashed," Anakin muttered, "I lost consciousness and crashed. Force, Obi-Wan is never going to let me live that down. Crashing on a burger run. He's never going to let me pilot a ship again."

"Yes, you crashed. You had," she sighed, "you won't understand or listen to any medical diagnostics will you?"

"My brain got hurt, I was dead for four months, I'm back to terrorize the Temple. Good enough for me."

Vokara Che rolled her eyes. "Yes, fine. Although it would seem you prefer to terrorize just me, not the entire Temple."

"What happened to Obi-Wan?"

"He's fine."

"Where is he?"

"The Council sent him on a mission to Bandomeer. He should be returning in a few weeks. I must say that – "

" – they sent him on a mission? Are they crazy!? He wasn't up for – "

" – I must say that your ridiculous plans worked and Master Kenobi is back to perfect health. Which is why the Council thought it would be best for him to get out of the Temple, rather than moping by your bedside."

"Oh."

"If you would be quiet for more than two minutes you might learn things, Skywalker."

"It's more fun to hear you shout. And Master Che, no flowers at my bedside? I'm disappointed."

"You seem in perfect health, could you just leave and try to make it your personal goal in life never to return to this ward while I am on duty?"

"I could try…." He grinned. "I'll be back sometime though."

"I expect it, unfortunately. Although you should be proud of what you did for Master Kenobi. I am not sure how he would survive without you, some days. Have a nice night, Skywalker."

Anakin went back to his disappointingly empty quarters. He left Obi-Wan a quick message on his commlink, "Uh…I'm awake…so…I'll see you when you come back. I…Force, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry."

"I think you should be more apologetic to Master Che."

Anakin jumped and spun around stupidly on the spot trying to see Obi-Wan. He was making his way out of the bedroom, hair tousled and clearly not fully awake. That was far from the first thing Anakin noticed however. Obi-Wan looked healthy. He was glowing and no longer the skeleton with skin stretched on his frame. "She said you weren't back yet!"

"I came back last night. I just got her comm. Breaking things already?"

"Accident." He looked tentatively at Obi-Wan. He wasn't really sure how to break the ice. He felt like it had only been a few days, but Obi-Wan had gone through four months of thinking Anakin could die any day…

Obi-Wan broke the silence first by swiftly closing the gap between them and tightly embracing Anakin. "You worried me, Anakin. I was – Force, it was my fault you crashed if you had been eating…and then you called me your husband and….I couldn't…I just kept thinking you were laying there and it was all my fault."

Anakin pushed Obi-Wan back from his. "No. You spent four months blaming yourself. No more. I'm fine. I'm here. I am alive and well and so are you."

"I promised you that I would be better for you when you woke up. I was going to be there for you when you woke up, strong enough to help you and care for you if need be. I wasn't – I couldn't stand the thought of you waking up and be told that I was dead. I wasn't going to do that to you."

Anakin wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan almost impossibly tight. It was one of the best feelings in the world to feel Obi-Wan, strong and vibrant in his grasp, not having to worry about feeling the frail bones of his frame.

"Thank you."

"Yes, well it would seem you have your pudgy old man back."

Anakin started to pull Obi-Wan into the bedroom, still keeping his tight embrace on him. "Good."

* * *

A/N: My endings are always a little weak, sorry. But at least it ends happier!


End file.
